Some Thoughts on Relationship Astrology: Using Natal with Syanstry and Composite

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

-Robert A. Heinlein

Relationship astrology is one of my specialties as a reader. In my opinion, it’s among the most practical areas of study that a beginning astrologer can learn from. Immediately from birth, relationships change our lives. Whether it’s parents, family, or friends, the way we relate to others influences how they experience us and how we experience ourselves. When it comes to relationship astrology though, most people are looking for the “tea” on their romantic partners or crushes, but relationships tell us a lot about ourselves as well. They are the primary way we develop as people. We may use modern buzz words like “shadow work” so much that they lose their meaning, but most of the real “shadow work” happens in our relationships.

Relationships are like psychological collisions. We crash into each other, push buttons in our partners they never knew they had, and they do the same thing to us. Parts of our charts lay dormant until someone comes along and activates them. It may not always be pleasant, but the collision changes you and the attraction often happens unconsciously. You may develop feelings for a friend or suddenly notice a stranger who captures your attention. We don’t know what brings these feelings on, but we know they are compelling. It’s at this point that those of us familiar with astrology start casting charts.

We have several tools at our disposal for relationship readings. There is synastry, where you take the natal charts of two people and see how they interact. There are also composite charts, which indicate the quality of the relationship and how it feels to both partners. You can cast synastry or composite for yourself and virtually any other chart, including people, places, things, nations, and celebrities you’ll likely never meet. You may notice some interesting aspects with the rich and famous, but they are only hypothetical. I always caution clients that it’s best to wait until the relationship starts to get the most accurate information.

When doing a relationship reading, I always start with a brief look at both partners’ natal charts. I want to get a feel for each partner’s personality, their virtues and vices, their desires and traumas and how they are as people. From there, I look at synastry. Synastry comes from the Greek “syn” meaning together and “aster” meaning star, so it literally means “to star together.” We take both charts and overlay one on top of the other. We first look to see what houses the other’s planets fall into and vice versa. This indicates some of the more general buttons they are pushing in one another, as well as how one partner sees and feels about the other. We then look at the planets and angles in one partner’s chart and see what aspects they make to those in the other. This tells us about their compatibility in more detail.

I then look at the composite chart for the couple. These are cast by taking the midpoints between each partner’s planets and angles. So, if one partner has Mars at 1° Aries and the other at 5°, the midpoint between them would be 3°. The midpoint is always equidistant from both planets’ original positions. The composite chart is derived from these values and is like the natal chart of the relationship. Jewel Mayberry, renowned relationship astrologer, always says the synastry is like the ingredients and the composite tells us how they “bake up” together. We get a feel for how tense or loving the bond is, what challenges may arise, and how likely the couple is to stay together.

In both synastry and composite, we look for similar patterns. The aspects with the tightest orbs will be the dominant ones and they will express most noticeably. Aspects to each other’s moons are also very important to note. The moon is our unconscious, the flux of moods and emotions, our bodies, and our sense of security. Hard aspects of malefics to the other person’s moon, or to the composite moon, tell us that someone’s feelings are going to get trampled. A happy moon is important for you to feel like you can relax in the relationship, that you’re cared for, and that you can trust your partner. Hard aspects from one malefic to another, for example Saturn to Mars, usually makes one partner feel trapped in the relationship. They often explode out of frustration at some point. However, aspects in relationship charts aren’t so cut and dry. The hard ones can be good and the easy ones can be bad.

Most novice astrologers love seeing an abundance of trines and sextiles in synastry and composite charts. Having some is great. They show us where the bond is effortless, free-flowing, and harmonious. However, all this free-flowing energy is easily dissipated, and can be lazy and indolent. It’s the squares and oppositions that make things happen. They may be more difficult aspects, but they also create the necessary friction to keep both partners growing, challenging each other, and surmounting obstacles together. Hard aspects can even help a couple stay together. A healthy balance of both hard and easy aspects is always preferable to an excess of either, but all aspects are begging to be resolved into their highest and most constructive expression. That includes synastry and composite. The implication is that any aspect, even the most challenging, can be healed in a relationship, provided both partners sincerely want to put in the effort.

So yeah, relationship astrology can be a fun novelty to muse about our compatibility with a crush and it can be a powerful tool for healing a long-term partnership. I mentioned above that “shadow work” happens primarily in relationships. I hate the term shadow work. When I use that term, I mean the hard work of self-observation, or seeing what you are really like. The usual contempt that develops from familiarity has to do with judgement, that is, seeing all the faults in someone else, but not in yourself. Conversely, you may take all the blame and allow yourself to be you used. Either way, the remedy is the same. Observing what you are really like, on the other hand, is a generator of compassion. Even if you recognize that the relationship has run its course, you can still end it with a just appreciation of your partner and how you have grown. Stay tuned for the next fun article.

[Sources: Merriam-Webster.com, Astro.com, and truthinaspectastrology.com]